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Valentine’s Horror: 10 Romantic As Hell Fright Flicks

Like the world’s worst boyfriend, I’ve arrived at Valentine’s late. Sadly, Deadpool was far too distracted so this had to wait. But here it is, like a bargain box of chocolates and an already wilting bouquet of flowers.

Regardless of date, these each of these films are a) brilliant films in their own right and b) not actually set in, on or around Valentine’s day so you can watch them any damn day you like.

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Countdown to Halloween: New Moon Double Bill

For many, December marks one of the most exciting times of the year. But for horror fans and fans of the anything-but-ordinary in general, October’s where it’s at. And this year, the month kicks off with a new moon. Why does that matter? Because it’s the first of two this month – a rare lunar occurrence known as the black moon. So what better way … Continue reading Countdown to Halloween: New Moon Double Bill

10 Things Horror Films Should Give Up For Lent

It’s Ash Wednesday and lent has officially commenced. Brace yourselves as your social media feeds become flooded with posts about how hard life is without chocolate, alcohol, puppies, crack or whatever it is various individuals have decided to give up.

After all, people need something to post about for the next month now that dry January is over.

One year I actually lented (is that the term?). It was horrible. It was a full on relentless lenting. I gave up crisps (chips, to those in the US). Fucking love crisps. Never forgiven lent for that.

Anyway, some people could really do with observing a good old lent. Horror movies for a start. I’m not saying they need to cut back on carbs or stop having a pint at the weekend, that’d be absurd – they’re not sentient entities and have no mouths. But there’s definitely a few things I think we’d all appreciate them giving up.
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Sinister Will Waste Your Life [review]

Runtime: 110 minutes. Amount of time spent festering over how that 110 minutes left me emptier than the Guardian Hashtag cafe: two days. WARNING: *Spoilers all the way through, combined with my first and only cinematic rant* Bad films are amazing. Without bad films we wouldn’t have Robocop or one of the 53 Puppet Master films. But they don’t lie to us. They come right … Continue reading Sinister Will Waste Your Life [review]

Rubber Rolls to Victory [review]

I owe this film so many apologies. When faced with a film based solely around the exploits of an inexplicably animated car tire you’d be wise to have bottom rung expectations. That’s exactly what I did, and I was wrong. If Keanu Reeves can carve a career out for himself, there was absolutely no reason to doubt Rubber’s titular ‘character’, as, without a word, it … Continue reading Rubber Rolls to Victory [review]